Anarchic. Irreverent. Frenzied. Bongo's Bingo at Ibiza Rocks discards tradition and political correctness with nonchalant bravado. This is not an experience for the puritans.
Like any true guilty pleasure or niche sexual fetish, the Liverpool-born party concept holds a dear place in our hearts… a dark, hidden place of it, that only gets to come out on bank holidays amongst the company of strangers.
Having taken the island by storm in the last three years, the brand continues to go from strength to strength. This is largely down to its laugh-a-minute nature and utterly bonkers cast of characters.
The ring "girls" looked like gender-reassignment gone horribly wrong - like their hormone replacement medication had got mixed up with the supplements intended for the Russian weightlifting team. We've seen less hair on the floor of a pet grooming parlour.
Keeping a semblance of order was our host and game's master. Possessing the quickfire wit of Alex Zane at his sardonic best, he placed us in assured hands. But the pretence of leadership would be a red herring. It was just another inmate running the asylum.
So much for a midweek lull. Here's our highlight reel on a Wednesday afternoon filled with belly laughs, cringes and aching sides in equal measure.
A strong start
“Has he been asked to leave already? After two minutes? I think that's a new record.”
Apparently, the level of banter and shenanigans was too much for some people to handle. One over-exuberant participant was swiftly led away by security after attempting to vault over the crowd control barrier. It's an early bath for you, son.
Of course, it was only customary that we sang him home. By this point, a number had yet to be even called. There's peaking too early - and then there's premature ejection.
WORDS | Stephen Hunt
The false call
For me, the most chuckle-worthy moment of the day was the multiple false calls which occurred throughout the various games.
Although inevitable after a few glasses (or bottles) of wine, it's important that players focus hard and not to falsely claim "BINGO.” The result is one of open mockery sure to leave any culprit a little red-faced.
Like any good public shaming, the braying mob chomped at the bit to put any offenders on a pedestal and openly humiliate them.
Between standing on the benches to dance and crossing off numbers, you can always be guaranteed one or two make the mistake, resulting in the meme-made track Why The Fuck You Lying? and the entire crowd chanting insults.
WORDS | Sasha Wharton
Nostalgic farce
You can't help but beam when you attend Bongo's Bingo. The nostalgia and farce is an intoxicating mix, potent enough to send the most square of pedants a little wayward.
From the word (bin-)"go," the song selections mirrored either the alternative prizes or were tediously linked to the number called.
Seeing a cardboard cutout of Phillip Schofield being brought out to hip-hop anthem Ante Up was up there with the most offbeat of various hilarious moments.
However it was the call: “69 - a room for two with a beautiful view,” followed by the dulcet tones of Marvin Gaye was the comedic moment that had us giggling like naughty schoolchildren.
WORDS | Michael Tomlinson
Turning the milk chocolatey
Have you ever witnessed riotous scenes over the seemingly inane act of producing a box of Coco Pops? Neither had I. That was until last Wednesday. Only at Bongo's Bingo would you find such scenes of carnage. Maybe Black Friday in Times Square?
Yelping the word “bingo,” the winner struck envy in the eyes of his fellow competitors.
Given the option to either take home his prize or make it rain, our winner chose the latter. To the tune of O.T. Genasis' famous lyrics "I'm in love with the CoCo" he swiftly proceeded to shower the crowd in a stream of miniature chocolate-coated nuggets.
Never have I seen such a reaction for a popular brand of cereal. It was a sight that will be etched in my mind forever.
WORDS | Jo Dargie
Back to school
Nothing screams guilty pleasure like the music of High School Musical. As Breaking Free belted from the speakers, 11-year old me was loving every second. I'm happy to confess I joined in singing every word at the top of my lungs. A firm classic.
From light-hearted humour to darkness, conversely, the reenactment of the iconic deck scene from Titanic took things in a disturbing direction. That image will be burned into my retina forever. Kate & Leo eat your heart out.
WORDS | Hannah Starkie
Out with a group of friends? You'll struggle to find an afternoon with as many laughs anywhere else on the island.
Tickets for all remaining shows can be found below.
