Ibiza is a land of spontaneity and, whilst Spotlight pre-purchasing is your golden ticket 9 times out of 10, every so often you’ll make a last-minute clubbing decision that takes you off course. Maybe you bought too many daiquiris at Mambo that evening, maybe you splashed out on a choice steak dinner or maybe you caught one too many taxi’s trying to find that villa party yesterday, but you find yourself cashless on the wrong side of the bouncers. Here are Anna Banana’s 10 rules to blagging your way in, which you’ll need plenty of balls for and receive absolutely no guarantees in return. #blaggerlife.
I grew up on the island so blagging my way into clubs has become somewhat of a standard for me, unless I was smart enough to plan my nights and ask for guest list, but that wouldn’t be any fun now would it? The first time I entered Pacha was when I was 15, we would hitchhike to the club as glamorous and cheap as we were, and we would just walk up to the entrance and blatantly ask the security guard if they would let us in. It never failed us.
Now things are a little different, but with the right attitude and the right air of je ne sais quoi, every club is penetrable – even with a plus one - because no one wants to party alone.
Rule #1 – Rock up to the guest list and pretend your name is on it (if you’re feeling ballsy add the plus 1).
Rule #2 – It helps if you have a catchy name. My name is Anna Banana and it always breaks the ice with the door host, they usually go out of their way to see if I’m on the list.
Rule #3 – Of course not everyone is born as a fruit so you could also try wearing something eye-catching or making a small joke at the expense of the punter trying to get in before you. Immediate bonding.
Rule #4 – Approach them with a smile, but with authority. You’re important, it is your right to get in, but you’re under no circumstances a bitch about it.
Rule #5 – Dress appropriately. If that means wearing festival gear, or being uncomfortable in heels, it's just the price you will have to pay. And I said appropriately; less is not always more.
Rule #6 – When they start apologising that you are not on the list, stay patient and smile - this is where your true colours show. Ask what you can do to rectify the situation. Whatever you do, do not drop the ball.
Rule #7 – Stay patient and keep smiling.
Rule #8 – This is the tricky part and you will get better with experience – name drop. Everybody is susceptible to name-dropping. It works best if you do a bit of research before you enter the club. Find out who owns the club, or find out the real name of one of the lesser known DJs playing that night, or if you’re feeling creative just make something up: “that’s strange, because ‘whatshisface’ confirmed that I would be on the list today”.
Rule #9 – At this point it’s up to the door host. If he or she feels for you, they will most likely let you in. Be polite and graceful when they finally decide to give you the benefit of the doubt. No victory air punches until well out of eyesight.
Rule #10 – This is the most important rule of all. You will have to believe that you are getting in from the onset. If you don’t believe in yourself, then why would anyone else?
Naturally you might want to tweak these rules depending on the club you are going to. But give it a shot and see if it works. What have you got to lose? (**EDITOR: your dignity?)