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Review: Judgement opening at Eden, 2015

The Judge that won't budge is back calling disorder in court.

The Judge is back on the island with an ordered hearing of solicited sounds at the San Antonio superclub – Eden. The presence of Judge Jules returned to Eden last night, after a brief flirtation with Es Paradis last year, for his opening party of the rebranded ‘Judgement’ Friday night residency. The night, which has been a staple for dance pilgrims since 1999, kicked off in Eden’s halls with its new state-of-the-art sound system and ultra-modern visuals with talent from Junior J, progressive dance DJ Third Party and commercial dance DJ Alex Kunnari.

An older, British heavy crowd lay in wait for a packing of tunes from the Judge who “won’t budge” including a reveler who fitted into what seems to be becoming a theme for me on the island this season, with a polar bear teddy bear. I can’t move for the stuffed stuff, probably haven’t been aware of so much of it since I was five. Polar Ted, as he’s aptly named, has been at every single opening and closing Judgement party from the get go in 1999. That’s dedication not many of us mere mortals can claim to have. Fitted with a leash, necked with a gold chain and boasting his own miniature passport, Polar Ted rested on the shoulder of his Scottish owner while Third Party revved the crowd up for the Balearic behemoth with Thomas Gold’s Remember and Tom Tyger’s Jedi.

On the third hour an eager crowd packed into the front dance floor as judicial wigged dancers took to their stages for the front man’s first Ibiza gig of 2015. “MAKE SOME NOISE” - and noise was made; Polar Ted pure lovin’ it. He lurched into his first thirty minutes with a big track of this year, Pep & Rash’s Rumors (Curbi Remix), fresh Disclosure slammer Bang That and a remix of The Weekend’s Earned It from cinema bondage smash 50 Shades of Grey, which when whipped onto Eden’s floor became an Adam and Eve approved 50 Shades of AYE. Of course he dabbled with flavours of some old dance floor bangers, weaving them through new age electro-trance sounds while preserving original slices of Benny Benassi’s Satisfaction, Faithless’s Insomnia and Kenkraft 400’s Zombie Nation. I do wish he’d played Hi-Gate’s Pitchin though for Ministry of Sound nostalgia. Can’t have it all though.

A dramatic movie theatre-esque voice over announced the last of Judgement’s record spinners, Finnish DJ, Alex Kunnari. He crashed on with reverberating stompers in Tiesto & Dallask’s Show Me and an absolute Balearic peach which is instantly recognisable by its distinct melody, Energy 52’s Café Del Mar. Happy days.

The Judge called for controlled disorder and his crowd received a dance hammering.


WORDS | Aimee Lawrence PHOTOGRAPHY | Eden

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