Thirty years ago the late, great Douglas Adams, of 'Hitch-hikers' fame, along with John Lloyd published 'The meaning of Liff'. They describe the many thousands of feelings and situations we experience on a daily basis, but for which no word exists. The source of their imagination? Place names.
Take Minchinhampton (noun.) for example. The expression on a man's face when he has just zipped up his trousers without due care and attention...
I mention this in passing because recently I found myself wandering around a car park on a chilly January afternoon. Making vague 'putting a coin in the meter' hand movements, I was hoping this would somehow help me locate a ticket machine. Consulting the book later, I couldn't find a word for this action, and so named it Botafoch.(verb) The reason? Freshly painted blue lines in car park. Allow me to explain...
There are only two rules you need to know when parking your car in Ibiza. Firstly, if my recent experiences are correct, you can abandon it anywhere you damn well please. But, and it's a big but, if it's left between blue painted lines then you'll need to pay to do so. Simples.
Occasionally I've been leaving my new car in the village of Sant Jordi. A bustling little place, hosting a lively 'hippy' market every Saturday nearby.. The village boasts a large car park and, more importantly, it's free. Most cars parked successfully, others not so.
Agreeing to meet my friend Gareth I drove to Sant Jordi. A Welshman with a disarming smile, he's lived in the area longer than he cares to remember. We'd agreed to meet in a bar for a pint and tapas. There being no charge, I could leave my car for as long as needed in the car park. Plus, if I drank a bit too much, then I could always 'crash' at Gareth's.
Unusually, all the parking spaces on the main road were occupied as I approached the bar. I pulled into the parking area to be met with a sea of blue paint! Light blue paint in fact, covering the faded white parking lines that were once before. Perplexed, I drove around the entire car park. Had someone taken leave of their senses? Not one 'free of charge' space anywhere and the entire area resembling a newly daubed Picasso. It was now obvious why the main street was crammed with parked vehicles. No-one wanted to pay.
I was left with no alternative and for once I'd have to pay. It was at this point that I started 'Botafoching.' There being no signs advising me of the nearest ticket machine, I wandered aimlessly around the car park looking for one making dubious 'putting money in a coin slot' movements with my hand. Despite this action, I couldn't find a ticket machine anywhere. Two elderly women were sat near-by. Hands clasped in their laps, they stared at me with their heads to one side and a look of, 'poor thing, he doesn't know,' on their faces.
Defeated, I walked to the bar. Gareth ordered drinks and I sat down where I could watch out for parking attendants. Pointing outside, I inquired of Gareth if he knew whether the town council was now run by the managing director of a local paint manufacturers.
"Well, it's like this" he said, in a matter of fact voice, "The car park, being close to the airport, is used by many as a cheap place to leave the car when they fly. Sometimes cars
are there for weeks on end. All for an €8 return cab ride. It's affecting local trade. People can't park to shop, hence the new blue paint"
I understood his point. "So where then" I asked "are the signs and meters?"
"There aren't any" he said. "and there aren't plans for them either"
To my complete amazement he went on to explain that now you were allowed to park for a maximum of two hours. Arriving, you write down that time and display it in the windscreen. After two hours you return to the car and put in another piece of paper showing that new time.
"but that means you can still leave the car for as long as you like, provided you now change the time displayed every two hours" I said, "What's the point in that?"
"I know. Bonkers" he mused, shaking his head, "Still, must've kept someone gainfully employed painting for a week I suppose"
Just a minute!